Archived Announcement From Dymer-Corp

None of us are safe from mind hacks. It’s up to all of us as individuals to make sure our brains are upgraded with the latest in Dymer-Corp Cyber Protection. No one is looking for a repeat of the [Redacted] incident, where tens of thousands were left mindless, naked and stumbling along like drooling zombies towards the nearest criminal drone conversion facility.

Only Dymer-Corp offers the latest in CyberBrain Security to keep you and your loved ones safe from Memory-Corruption, Thought Takeovers and Direct Emotion Control. Remember, although Cyber Protection works well when browsing online, your safety when physical contact occurs with someone infected by a Hive-Virus isn’t guaranteed. Make sure to always be vigilant and keep your eyes out for anyone, including yourself, expressing the following symptoms:

  • Increased fatigue.

  • Unusual levels of arousal.

  • Body parts acting of their own malicious intent.

  • Drooling.

  • LED eye displays showing spiral patterns.

  • Mindlessness.

  • Full body latex exoskeletons.

  • An eagerness to touch others (with intent to spread the Hive-Virus).

  • A longingness or eagerness to head towards the nearest criminal drone conversion facility.

And so on

If you or someone you know is expressing one or more of these symptoms, Dymer-Corp highly recommends this individual checks themselves into one of our Maintenance Facilities. Here we use the very best in Cyber Experts and Cyber Science to remove the Hive-Virus from you as best we can, so you can return back to your ordinary lives.

If, however, the Hive-Virus has progressed too far and corrupted too much of your CyberBrain, we may be forced to perform a full factory reset. Dymer-Corp apologies in this instance, but would like to reassure you that your body and freshly reset mind would be put to use right away in one of our very best, World-Class, Dymer-Corp Approved Drone Facilities. Here, our Drones receive the very best treatment, with a fully cleaned mind and a seamless, fully integrated latex exoskeleton. Criminal drone conversion facilities are well known for their dodgy brainwashing, plain latex bodysuits and overwhelming usage of sexual pleasure to keep their drones in line. We pride ourselves on our Drone Treatment, and have developed the most sophisticated Drone Pleasure Machines currently found in any drone hive.

If you’re interested in submitting yourself to become a Dymer-Corp Approved Drone, we’ve placed our contact details and application form in the attachment below. Alternatively, you are more than welcome to proceed to your nearest Dymer-Corp Facility, where we would be more than happy to process your application speedily and with immediate effect. If you’re still unsure, please download the second attachment and upload it to your CyberBrain Core Module to help you make this decision.

Thank you for your attention.

-CEO, Dymer-Corp